When I started out writing the grydscaen series I had a message I wanted to relay but did not know if anyone would ever see it. So in a sense I started writing for myself. After the first book in the series grydscaen: retribution, my space changed. I went on a mission after one book did not portray the depths of the entire epic story I would be creating with grydscaen.
With grydscaen: beginnings which can be said is the first in the series but was written later there was a shift in my desire. I wanted the message to reach others, to help them. To give voice to those troubled teens and lgbt youth who struggle with self esteem, mental health, image, bullying and acceptance.
With that change grydscaen became a crusade. Yes I still write for me but I do it to help others so they don’t have to feel the depths of emotional despair and lost vision that I did as a 16 year old in college. Yes I was young and that was part of the problem, but I was also sheltered and away from everything I knew at an ivy league school.
Lino in grydscaen has a few friends namely June, his best friend who is a model and his cousin Anis. The others that surround him, even Berlin his glam boyfriend at times falls into the role of acquaintance like the other art school denizens in his life. I found the same type of thing at college one or two friends who understood parts of me but never someone who understood the whole package eccentricities and all. To this day I still don’t have that.
I write grydscaen remembering that I was a loner disappearing into books, writing, science fiction and anime as my world along with classes. Sure I go to anime conventions as do countless other people, but those are snapshots in time.
Grydscaen is anime-esque science fiction with psychics and hackers. It makes sense in the context if I look back at college and review everything. I want to ensure that no one feels the depths of loneliness and alienation from their community be it trans, lgbt, jocks, geeks, those with adhd. Grydscaen gives the quiet people a voice and characters who are young adult with various issues that are succeeding and managing their emotions and depth in a cyberpunk backdrop full on with technology, nanomachines, jacks, and mobile frames.
When I say I wrote this originally for me, I did. It was what I wanted to read at 16 and could not find back then. I write grydscaen for others because the message is timely and is put out there to help, to show those with mental illness, issues with parents, issues with drugs or homeless youth as well as gay and trans teens.
Even the manga “A Storm’ Coming” from grydscaen which deals with Rom the homeless gay youth calls out his struggles on a daily basis but brings hope and a means to higher self esteem. Rom has a special place in my heart because his life is hard and because he was the first Packrat hacker I created. His name means “Read Only Memory” because the government erased his memory and he forgot all his elite hacking skills.
I want today’s troubled, lonely, sad, searching, confused and even well rounded youth to have roll models to look up to. I tried to accomplish that in a lavish tech savvy world set in a dynamic dystopia in a cyberpunk backdrop.
Grydscaen is my mission. I will fight for it and continue to broadcast my message even if I have to do it one person at a time. The message is important, more the message and the books than the writer. The writer sends the message out to the world for others to have acceess to. The books speak for themselves. I hope one day you too get to experience Lino, Rom and even Berlin and Faid. I will keep writing grydscaen so the entire message gets out there. I write to bring hope, and belonging, and safety, and the message for anyone to hear who wants to engage. I promise I will do my part and keep fighting to get it out there. I believe in the message and the mission. All Hail the Packrat Code!
