Sometimes the Universe tests you. It wants to see how you handle yourself under pressure and if you can hold up and fight. Having been tested before I have come from the depths and come out the other side at least twice, and then again when my car flipped upside down due to tires flying off that were not bolted on right. I walked away from that in a totalled car and miraculously was the only vehicle to get harmed.
The divine gives you gifts for a reason be it athletics, art, music, science, literature, etc. I get to write grydscaen and send the message of lgbt and trans equality, equal rights and the end of oppression, open source, and mental illness awareness. I have even written and illustrated A Storm’s Coming graphic novel which is being used to help homeless and troubled teens with self esteem. All these things I am grateful for.
And now there is yet another test. I was initially not ready but with each passing minute I garner my strength like Sati when he has to go up in his mobile frame and has to keep his wits about him and navigate, keeping it together where one wrong tactical move can lead to him downing his frame.
The topics that I address in grydscaen are dear to my heart and I want to ensure that all the books get published. Tomorrow will be a trying day, but like Sati I have to be on point there is no room for error.
I have gone skydiving tempting fate with just a parachute between me and the end. I flipped a car upside down, well it flipped itself actually. Now I go through this fourth test and hopefully I will be able to say I passed with flying colours.
With grydscaen I try in my little way to make an impact on the world and change lives. I never want anyone to have to go through what I went through in my teenage years from the piano teacher, to the abusive lovers, to the despair and being lost. I don’t want anyone to suffer what I did. I know abuse, trans, lgbt, mental health, homeless youth, runaway, and vicariously through someone I will call Richard and The Evil, I know about drugs. All these things I write about as central to grydscaen, the psi inducer drugs, hosts and homeless youth Rom.
This is what I do. I write to send a message which I feel passion for. I will continue to write no matter how often the Universe tests me. It just makes me a stronger person along with all I have been through. I write what I know, no amount of research can portray the depths of emotion I feel for the situations and character’s lives in my books.
So you ask which character am I in grydscaen? Somewhere on another blog I have answered that. I won’t do it here but I will say I know Blue, I know Lino, and Sati, Rom, Acolyte and even Faid. They are a part of my being, the words breathe through their lives. I write them from the depths of my heart and my soul. And even when I kill a character which so far in the series has happened a few times, a little piece of me goes with them, feeling for their loss. These characters mean a lot to me, as well as the story.
Tomorrow this new test from the Universe that I am on will be trying. Like Sati it will take strength and determination to soldier through. Like I said a few days ago, as Faid does each day in the Echelons, I will fight for my cause with all the passion, and pain, and determination of a true warrior fighting the Elite and oppression against psychics. Wish me luck!