A lot of people think that anorexia is a gender biased disease that only happens to women. That is not true. Although anorexia can happen at any age there is some data that says that young adults are more prone to succumbing to it. Anorexia happens to male teens on some of the same levels as it happens to girls.
As a young adult I became anorexic in my sophomore year of college. I was 17 at the time and I had virtually given up eating. I was already vegan by the time the anorexia took control of me. It was more an attempt to control my environment than it was about losing weight. I was already too thin to begin with. The not eating was a symptom of the inner turmoil that I was facing by not fitting in anywhere. Sometimes male anorexia starts with sports, or bodybuilding, wrestling or other activity that has weight classes. This is not always true but it is a gateway and a set of behaviors trying to meet a weight class that can cause the feelings of restriction for a goal to come out.
Other times anorexia is just something you might fall into. The environment can also have a huge role in anorexia for males just as much as females. There has been some talk about anorexia being about control where bulimia is about self hatred. Thought bulimia usually includes binging and purging, anorexic behavior may include laxatives and diuretics which can also lead to bulimic behaviors.
For me the not feeling connected to my own body and having issues with expressing my genuine self to the world is what led me to anorexia. I virtually stopped eating anything. It was not really hard to do, it was just a behavior that manifested itself and then the anorexic cycle took hold of me.
Some say having controlling over aggressive parents that constantly strive for their children to be the best can have an affect on triggering the anorexic mindset. Others say it may be linked to abuse. No matter what the cause that brought about the anorexia it is the mindset that takes hold of the person and starts driving behaviors.
Though it has been years since I was severely anorexic with my weight at its lowest being a low number I will not cite and I am considered to be tall, that weight was not healthy. I remember not having a scale but when I actually ended up in the hospital they weighed me and I learned what my weight was. Some teens who restrict are obsessed with the scale. That can drive the behavior to new heights trying to reach a goal that may be less than healthy. I remember once I got to the hospital and they put me on a feeding tube that I was always afraid of gaining weight. To this day the time in the hospital I think saved my life.
Things like brittle finger nails, brittle hair, rough skin, dark circles under the eyes, being cold all the time, fainting, losing the ability to feel hungry are all things that can happen with anorexia, along with being obsessed with calories and food or exercise. Some anorexics actually cook elaborate meals that they don’t eat. Others just restrict and play games trying to give up eating altogether.
Although the symptoms are the same, the thing that drives the anorexia may be different for males and females. Due to body shaming or having a unrealistic body image based on media coverage such as models in magazines that are Size 1 or less, this may cause anorexic behavior in girls. For body having minimum to no body fat may give rise in boys. The images of macho bodybuilders with ripped abs and who are popular or successful can drive that anorexic behavior in teens. Not all anorexia is based on looks. Going back to the control factor, some teens have no control of their lives as they are coming into their understanding of the world. One of the things that can be controlled is the amount of food you put in your mouth. Controlling that can give a false sense of overcoming the lack of control. Parents, teachers, principals, coaches all have so much power and some teens want to grasp onto that. Controlling your food can do that.
The problem with support for male anorexics is sometimes the ability to find treatment centers. The majority of treatment centers have female patients and may not take males. In some cases the waiting list for facilities that do are often long. Though eating disorders like binge eating disorder, anorexia and bulimia see past gender, it is often times noted in the media that it is a female disease. This stigma against males can cause issues with access to care and the ability for those with anorexia to be seen as legitimate.
For me getting over my anorexia took years. It was a slow road to gain weight and bring my BMI up high enough. It took learning a new relationship to food. To this day the anorexic mindset still looms in the background. Getting over that mindset is part of the recovery from anorexia which is necessary to become healthy.
Anorexia happens in males and there should be no less stigma to it that in females. Finding support is necessary to get a healthy understanding of food, weight and the anorexic messages that get sent for someone who if experiencing anorexia acutely. Some things about anorexia are not readily understood. It can be a stressful event, the lack of control, the existence of a comorbid issue like depression or anxiety, self esteem issues, lack of connection or being understood. There is no one factor that determines who will become anorexic or not. Having been there myself and having climbed out of that hole to become healthy again it is as much environment, and removing toxic people from your life that have an impact in recovery.
My parents and the college experience, as well as my coming to terms with myself in the LGBT community all had impacts on me becoming anorexic. I fight with anorexic thoughts sometimes but I am stronger for having gone through anorexia and coming out the other end. I will always be a recovering anorexic that is just a part of who I am. Though my relationship to food is healthier than when in college, and I am still vegetarian almost mostly vegan, I am in a better place now.
This started out as an essay on male anorexia but I think I covered a bunch of topics today. Anorexia affects boys as well as it affects girls. Support is necessary to help those with anorexia get better and live a healthy life. There are support groups as well that are available like overeaters anonymous. Though I have never been to these group, although I did go to group when I was hospitalized for anorexia, I found that group did not really help me so much. For some, group and having a sponsor helps a lot. My sister who is bulimic finds group very helpful to her and she has a dietician as well. That did not work for me. I needed to be hospitalized because my weight was in the danger zone, I was fainting and my electrolytes were out of whack. When it comes to that, severe anorexia can be life threatening with hormone systems shutting down, heart problems and other things. Anorexia can be life threatening at certain weights. Support is available. For me I quit life. I went to a friend and said “take me to the hospital I give up.” That was what finally got me the help that I needed. There is no shame in asking for help.
Life is precious. Some with anorexia hate themselves and that is part of why they restrict. Support needs to be given to the whole person, mentally, emotionally and physically. The relationship to self is just as important as the relationship to food. It can be done getting past the anorexic mindset. It may be difficult and no feeding tube which may be scary and help you gain the weight intraveneously, one of the fears of an anorexic of making you “fat” can do the mental work that is needed to the relationship to self.
But it can be done. Anorexia does not need to be a cage that controls you. When I originally wrote this piece I did not put my weight on there. Some may weigh less, others more. The number can trigger people. The lowest weight for me was not healthy including the BMI. Numbers can be triggering for anorexics so I don’t list it. Recovery is possible just hang in there. You are beautiful every single day.
